"Things That You Love About Edmonton"

This can be found in SUB.  Only this morning did I stop to take the time to photograph it on my phone.  "Things you love about Edmonton"... I find it amusing that this category boasts the fewest responses.  More than anything, though, I feel like this representation of Edmonton is rather empty and minimal.  It's easy enough to name things or places within the city that we enjoy, much like we did at the beginning of the year in this class.  It's much harder, however, to think about the city in a different way, to see beyond the physical places that exist to see the underlying construct of the city and to understand what it really means to be an "Edmontonian".  These people clearly should have taken this course.

Further giggles at the fact that "summer activities" is listed.  What about winter activities?  I find that this plays into my presentation a bit --- Edmontonians ignore half of our identity (no one cares to remember the winter and how *different* it is here!), hence our ambivalence.

I also just wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful ideas and insight into the city -- the course wouldn't have been nearly so interesting or informative if it wasn't for the many brilliant minds in the room. =)

A Hypothetical Archive of Evolving Edmonton Concepts

As we discussed, an archive is a collection of items and documents that has a sort of specificity and says something important about a place and its history.  It is a museum of origin. Being ignorant of much of Edmonton's history, my hypothetical archive of Edmonton will be one of my evolving ideas of the city from this class.

The first "item" - A white out.  Marking the beginning of this course, January was a stormy-white month, and the class as a whole was lost in this desolate storm that engulfed Edmonton.  We didn't know where to go… We had no idea what to think of the city.  We were lost.  This is the beginning of the journey - this is the blank slate upon which a concept of Edmonton will be built.

Secondly - A pair of shoes.  In walking, we give purpose and meaning to the city.  We write stories by wandering, the splashing of puddles through which we tread adds literary flare - onomatopoeia (Foucault).  Walking in the shoes of others, along new paths, along their maps, we begin to relate to their experiences, feelings, and memories.  Memory is part first person, and part collective (Lippard) - memory makes spaces into places.  Wandering Edmonton will help us to define the city in a way we desire, and wandering the mapped spaces of classmates connects memories into a meaningful network upon which Edmonton as a hometown and place may be recognized.

Then - A wig.  The unlikely glamour of Edmonton's secret life, called upon by Darrin Hagen.  Edmonton can be what she wants to be; we can make alterations to our city through the actions we take and the spirit we embody.  Recalling Minister Faust, he advised us to write what we know, but change what we will - make Edmonton exotic and exciting.

Penultimately - The river.  Intrinsically tied to the history of Edmonton, Alice Major acknowledges the North Saskatchewan as a bearing for the city.  Yet, discussed in class, we avoid her current by building high bridges to cross her.  Could this be why we feel lost?  Is this the source of disconnect between city and city-dwellers?  We have become ignorant of our roots.

Lastly - A man with a buffalo head.  Inspired by Raymond of The Garneau Block, the man is Death himself.  We need to be conscious of Death's presence and the inevitability that he will come so that we may choose actions and paths for ourself.  Recalling Sartre from a class last semester, man is the sum of his actions, and we are condemned to freedom once we acknowledge that we are responsible for our own actions.  In our freedom, we can wander, we can share stories, we can sculpt Edmonton into everything we want in a city.

Thus, we are left in white out once again - Another blank slate.  But this time we do not fear and scorn it.  We embrace it and begin to paint Edmonton for ourselves through our memories, actions, imagination, and new-found knowledge.

Scatter my Dust and Ashes

It’s dusty outside.

Gazing through the south-facing window of the Cameron Library pedway, white specs can be seen littering the air, slowly drifting downwards to blanket the city.

dust |dəst|

1 tiny particles of earth or waste matter lying on the ground or on surfaces carried in the air

- poetic/literary: a dead person’s remains

Drab.  Dusty.  Dead…monton.

It’s no wonder we all feel like dying around this time of the year, if we don’t feel dead already.  The dust of our dead souls has suppressed vivacity.  It’s spring and it’s snowing.

I don’t know what I should have expected, really.  The end of March marks the end of midterms (which students have been writing since the first week of February).  Freedom beckons, the light at the end of the tunnel… Until the realization dawns upon you that you still have a term paper to write, a major project to start finish, a schedule to build for next year, and final exams to look forward to.  How considerate of Mother Nature to parody my mental anguish.  Really sets the mood.

Do you know what I hate most about this place?  This university?  No one does anything.  Sitting in a high traffic area such as I am right now, there are a few people stuffing their faces, several with their noses in books or on laptops (myself included), and only a select few people socializing.  Glimpses of any present socialization reveal talk about marks, profs, papers, equations… and usually this chit-chat happens only briefly, in passing, or while waiting at the microwave to heat up food.  So that they may, too, stuff their faces in solitude.

This institute is set up to drain us of our lives and our souls.  And our money.  It costs about $6000 per annum to enroll in classes, most of which are ultimately irrelevant to what you want to do with your degree.  You want to specialize in cellular biology?  Make sure you pay to take this physics course on mechanical motion that for which you’ll never have a use.  Yet 30 000 people have bought into it.  30 000 dead souls haunt campus everyday, meandering absent-mindedly from place to place, devoid of the vibrancy, empathy, and individualism that characterizes humanity.  Or at least used to.

So much emphasis is on the number, not the knowledge.  Believe me.  I’ve scored considerably high in some courses, and I have no idea what the hell was going on during the lectures, and anything I might have learned has since been lost.  And let’s face it, there are some real idiots around here who somehow pull off the grades required to make it through their degree.  This isn’t a learning institution.  It’s the beginnings of the prophetic zombie apocalypse.  Well, not really.  But let me explain further.

High schools having freshly borne us from their coddling wombs, we’re thrust into this mini-society full of options and expected to make choices.  Here’s the catch – before you can specialize in a field of interest, you have to be generalized.  If you think differently than other people or have different interests, you either suffer for your curiosity, or you cope.  Take the uninteresting and overly general introductory courses.  Give the profs what they want.  Don’t stand out.  Don’t ask stupid questions.  Just fit within the mean and you’ll be fine.  Average is “in” this year.  C’s get degrees, right?

But excellence is the goal – strive for the 4.0.  Why the fucking numbers again?  Is there no better way to assess intelligence, interest, and creativity within the subject?  Okay, but what if you are really just confused and need some help with a difficult concept.  Your professors’ class hours are inconveniently placed within other enrolled classes, and your classmates couldn’t give two shits about your mark, especially when the class is curved.  Nobody wants to help the competition.  Egotistical bastards.

The result?  Tepid, insipid, socially detestable and boring people.  And these people we unleash upon our city.  Then, we complain about the monotony and dub ourselves Deadmonton.  How… creative.  Our minds aren’t permitted to flourish; we’re stuck in this perpetual storm of whiteness, sameness.  And thus, we have drawn the white sheet over ourselves.  The self-proclaimed dead.

When will spring come?

The death of the river flow as the North Saskatchewan freezes over marks the figurative death of Edmontonians.  When the flow frees itself, it takes a flood come spring to cleanse the dust from our souls and to reawaken the humanity within us.  Deadmonton is somehow forgotten and replaced by River City.


I've been frustrated with the university lately.  Probably because of exams, assignments, projects, and building a schedule (I find that building a schedule as an English major is an incredibly painful process).  Anyway.  I opened up my word program yesterday and just started to rant.  This is what came out.  It kind of connects to ideas we were discussing in class about the U of A and if it represents Edmonton or stands alone.  It's also somewhat tied to what I wrote last week at the end.  Not really related to what we've been doing lately, but I thought I'd share it nonetheless.

"Thoughts from Home" by Charlie McDonnell

So... I subscribe to Charlie McDonnell on youtube.  Some of you may know him.  He's from England and is "internet famous" for painting himself purple and drinking ketchup and doing a few other kind of stupid things.  His latest video, however, is all about his hometown of Bath.  He mentions how it's a beautiful place, and as such, many tourists will come to see its marvels.  But he didn't want to show his viewers *that* Bath.  He wanted to show them *his* Bath.  I thought it related pretty well to what we did with our maps of Edmonton.

"Thoughts From Home" by Charlie McDonnell

River City

The river not only defines this city – it consumes it.

After months of ceaseless snowfall, Edmonton is beginning to be released from her entombment.  The snowdrifts no longer stand harsh and jagged along our walkways and streets, but have a saggy appearance about them as they become dissipated by hopes of impending spring.

The city wishes to live again.

Rivers rush down their loose gravel beds, diligently laid out by city workers, and pool into newly formed lakes within the asphalt.  The banks to either side of these numerous rivers are muddy brown and wet, standing in proud contrast to the white sheet that has been drawn over the city during its hibernation.  Although the river-ways may be perilous for commuting this time of year, it is an assurance that we will thrive again soon.  We are the River City.

… And the rivers will run dry to join their mother, until we forget yet again what it is to be alive come October.

Upon reading the piece by Mike Davis, I was really drawn to this conflict between humanity and nature, and how it's difficult for the two to coexist.  The article mentioned a constant battle against the reaches of nature, whether it be fought by weeding gardens, pruning trees, or outright clearing of nature to make room for more urbanity.  Building upon the idea of Edmonton being a River City, I wanted to reflect Davis' ideas in terms of the river in defining Edmonton's unique urban nature.

Word Game

"In the Movie Eat. Pray. Love. The Heroin is in search of a word that encapsulates herself after playing a game to find a word that is Rome (It turns out that word was Sex). London's was Stuffy and New York was Ambition. What is Edmonton's word? I'd say Connected but I'm biased being at NOW! and all! :) ~Pagers"

So... I follow 102.3 Now! Radio on Facebook, and the other day, the radio host Rebecca Page posted the above statement.  I thought it was kind of interesting and related pretty well to 380!

What do you think Edmonton's word would be?  I say "cold"... my boyfriend says "grey"... If I had to pick a more serious would, I could settle for "diverse"?  What do you think!?

More debate on taboo words...

 I posted a link to a blog post that my boyfriend wrote a while ago about censorship.  I pointed out to him that, despite his love of swearing and cussing, he still uses some words and treats others as taboo.  This bothered him, and he sought to answer why this is the case, even for him.  This is his latest entry concerning word use/meaning and censorship/taboo.  This is still somewhat relevant to "Why is Squaw Such a Bad Word?"...

An Obscure Blog - The Earring and the Makeup

He was hesitant about posting this one because he fears it will be misinterpreted or that people will take offense when he means none.

Nostalgia Map

Here's a link to my map assignment!

Pride

... When someone from Edmonton makes it big, many Edmontonians become fiercely proud and supportive of them.  Gretzky comes to mind, though I was never an avid hockey fan.  I went to Ross Sheppard High School, the same school that Olympic gold medalist Jamie Sale attended.  Jens Lindemann, world class trumpet player, was in high school with my parents at McNally.

Why are we so immensely proud of these Edmontonians that have made it big?  Is it that Edmonton could be finally put on the map, that we could be good for something?  Or is it a hidden hope that we all have the potential to escape the city and move onto bigger and better things?  On what is this proud founded?  Is it misplaced?

Censorship

"Why is squaw such a bad word?"  Some would argue that it's not... This is a blog post that my boyfriend wrote regarding censorship that I feel is moderately applicable to our discussion regarding McIlwraith's piece and the idea of censorship of information/words and taking offense to words that other people use.

An Obscure Blog - [censored]

Efficiency

…I am a dead leaf upon your branch.  I hold the same shape as always, but I have changed.  I am dead to you.  It makes no matter how long you cling to me.  You would have me sit in stasis, coldly upon your unbending will.  Don’t you see… Eventually I will either fall or be swept away.  Yet, you rest in brittle defiance.  Hibernating in ignorance, rooted in place, you’d rather see me browning and decaying.  You’d rather see me beneath you than swept off to more lively adventures…

I wrote this at the beginning of last semester when I was having a rough time and doubting myself and where I was going to end up (existential dread, oh my!).  This was never meant to be seen by anyone, but it was called to mind today, and I figure I should take a chance and branch out (no pun intended).  I think this feeling was reflected in my first blog post regarding my thoughts on Edmonton.  I mentioned that I felt stuck within the city's limits - constrained.

I feel now that the feeling of suppression within Edmonton is likely, in part, my own fault.  As we've talked about movement through the city, I've become more aware of my habits in terms of transportation.  I'm all about efficiency.  I drive my boyfriend nuts because I insist on walking diagonally across the street to maximize efficiency in terms of getting to my location.  When driving, I take the time to determine the quickest possible route, factoring in red-lights and time spent stopped.  If I get stopped at certain lights, I'll turn onto the next road rather than waiting.  I get miffed at people who stop to chat in the middle of walkways, because it means having to walk around them.  I hate being stopped by people I know as I'm en route to a specific location.  I don't use the streets as a social networking system --- that's what Facebook is for.  Altogether, my impatient and OCD personality combine to work *against* Edmonton and it's layout.  I'm constricting its borders even tighter around me as I try to break through them all for time's sake.    I don't take my time to see or enjoy the city as I commute because I'm too busy getting places, rather than enjoying new places or enjoying the prospect of becoming entwined within the city's workings.

A SWEet Valentine's Concert

If anyone was interested, the Symphonic Wind Ensemble (SWE) is playing a concert this Sunday, February 13 at 7pm in the Myer Horowitz theater.  Tix are $5 for students.  We'll be playing the piece I referenced in my last post =) And I have a solo that I'm scared to death to play, heh.

Just trying to get the ensemble's name out there a bit more!

I once was lost, but now I'm found...

Looking back on English 380 --- It doesn't feel very much like an English class, and I don't mean that in any negative way whatsoever.  More classes, I think, should be organized like this one.  The classroom setting doesn't feel so restricted, formal, and boring.  Discussing more controversial subjects in such an open and honest manner has led to a wonderful class environment with brilliant insight into the city, its issues, its subcultures, and much more.

Obviously, among the more surprising things to learn about Edmonton was the prevalent drag scene.  Actually, reading details about any clubbing/drug/party scene is interesting to me simply because I'm a more sheltered individual by choice.  To me, clubbing or going out was just an expensive waste of time for people who need alcohol to have a good time.Being submerged in a subculture so thrilling, independent and carefree is inspiring in many ways to me because I've never been remotely into any such scenes myself, let alone bothered to educate myself about the under-workings of the city.

The single thing that has surprised me most about this course is how I see Edmonton now.  I wouldn't say that I've undergone a full transformation by any means... but the city seems so much more optimistic... or open... or free.  I was driving home the other day and I took time just to notice how the trees seem to grasp over groat road, and the pine trees stand straight, tall, and proud upon the hills on either side.  I looked north from campus, across the river to behold Edmonton's downtown skyline, my eyes traveling from west to east settling upon apartment buildings, office buildings of differing architecture, then the dome of the legislature --- As describe in Coyote Kings.  I'm beginning to embrace and appreciate the diversity Edmonton boasts.  I don't dread campus anymore because of its ratty, rundown buildings and the sense that I'm stuck here against my will only because I have to be.  I see opportunity, I see freedom to choose what I want, I see people within the ratty old buildings working on building the rest of their lives.

Corny (and tangential) moment of the day: We're playing a piece in Wind Ensemble titled Emblems by Aaron Copland -- Very famous composer, and *very* American and patriotic.  Our conductor was giving us a pep-talk before we played a run-through of the piece about how it's quintessentially American, how it has glimpses of "Amazing Grace" embedded within the original ideas Copland composed, but she was saying that it's still a powerful and meaningful piece even for Canadians.  She asked that we give the piece a chance, accept it, and let it be what it is --- And then, we will truly see how marvelous the piece is.  I think that this "patriotism" paired with the notion of accepting things for what they are and giving them a chance to see their true glory has really helped me in the past couple of weeks to see Edmonton and begin to accept it as my home.

This one time at band camp...

We've all heard stories about band kids doing wild things at band camp.  And in a sense, the stories are right(?)  A place of refuge of sorts for me was always my summer band camp.  2 weeks long.  Nothing but playing wonderful music with wonderful people from all over the province.  It was a home away from home for many of us Alberta band geeks.  My fellow bandies were always so much more open at camp than I think they were in other settings.  What admittedly shocked me a little at first was how open many of the campers were about their sexuality - a large portion of our band identified as homosexual or bisexual.  No one judged.  Music knows no gender... Why would it matter?

What I'm getting at here is that some of this kids *did* come from Rocky Mountain House, like Darrin Hagen, and some kids *did* come from other small towns in Alberta where differences in sexuality still aren't embraced.  MusiCamp Alberta at Red Deer College, for 2 weeks, permitted and promoted the true Self.  Aside from the overall environment and the accepting people, I have a silly notion in my head that the music itself coaxed people out into the open - you put yourself into your music, you fill it with your emotions and expressions and your very essence in many ways.  Everyone was putting themselves out there on display for everyone to hear, and we all loved to listen.

I've since observed that many music- and art-oriented scenes and gatherings boast many more people who are open with their sexuality and their sexuality differences than other groups I've encountered.  I've always pondered why that is... Art is often thought to require an open-mind, so perhaps artistic people are more open-minded in many other aspects of their lives, including their sexuality.  Maybe it's because artists put themselves into their work and are more comfortable with the inner and true Self and don't try to cover it up.  Maybe I just haven't opened my eyes up enough to other groups.  Thoughts, anyone?

[Peterkin Symphonic Band performs summer 2007  <--- I'm in the front row on the far left!
Another clip from summer 2007 - Clarinet Escapade <--- I'm on the far right!
If you want a sense of what the camp was like, this link will send you to a video they made one of the years I was there, mostly to promote the camp, but I think it captures some of the atmosphere]

Sidenote: [Nostalgia mapping?]

This thought has likely been provoked by Hypercities and the exercise in which we drew our childhood maps... I think it would be very interesting to try to map my concept of the city as I have matured.  Using old photographs and memories to create an evolving map of my sense of the city beginning with my home and expanding to include my neighborhood, then my elementary school, and progressing until present day and my experience within the city.  It would be nifty to see how my "city limits" have dilated and how my perception of places and my relation to them has changed.  In this sense, I would have a sort of Hypercities map of Edmonton that actually interested me because it would pertain to me (how egotistical, for shame).  Really, though, it would combine my life and memories and emotion with a map in a crazy culmination of Hypercities and the biomapping project we looked at (http://www.biomapping.net/).  Hmmm... I may spend the weekend rummaging through old photos and scrapbooks in my basement.

Hypercity

This is simply amazing: http://hypercities.ats.ucla.edu/

Contrary to the crime map, sexual assault map, and walk score map which each show grid-like streets with a few markers to indicate crimes or points of interest, Hypercities provides more of an engaging experience.  Not only does the site give you a satellite view of a modern city of your choice which allows you to get more of a feel for the city and a more accurate assessment of the layout and topographical features., but his site provides multiple maps from completely different eras that can overlay the satellite image with adjustable opacity.  Now, I've never been one to like history or claim to be interested in it, but this mapping site provides a more tangible form of historical documentation.  Instead of learning about an ancient city and its development, this site allows you to see history unfold.  Of particular interest to me was looking at Rome and observing different mapping styles, and seeing how the placement of certain places (such as the Colosseum or the river) differed slightly from map to map.  It's fascinated to be able to sort of *see* the spatial awareness with regards to the city, and how surprisingly accurate some cartographers were despite the obvious lack of technology!  This map is terribly fun to play around with, and provides what I think is an enriching educational experience.

That being said, upon visiting this site, I went immediately to view Paris and Rome --- I've visited both of these cities and fell in love with them.  Really, I just fell in love with Europe.  This brings me back to my view of Edmonton as being somewhat dulled.  While a map of Edmonton on this site could be interesting just for the sake of seeing the development of my hometown, it's a newer city, and I think part of the magic of Hypercities is the ability to see a map of Rome from the year 211 - a time so long ago and so hard to reach out to.  Maybe I'm just so deeply disconnected from Edmonton that I don't even care how it came to be.  Maybe some of you could agree that a Hypercities map of Edmonton wouldn't be nearly as fascinating as the one of Rome.

Mapping my Edmonton could help me to see better my life as it is intertwined with the city.  I worry, however, that in defining the city through my interaction with it, I will only discover that my life is boring and has helped to create the dullness that seems to pervade my Edmonton.  Oops?

"My Edmonton"

Edmonton has been my whole life...

...But only in the sense that I have inhabited the city since my birth.  I don't define myself as an Edmontonian, nor do I feel any particular connection to the city.  In fact, sometimes I abhor my birthplace as I think that had I been born elsewhere, my talents could have been better cultivated by richer culture and keener eyes.  The city's limits?  I feel stuck within them.  It is the space of nearly my whole physical life, minus the few times I've left the city to see "bigger and better" things: Paris, Rome, Athens...  Great, colourful places full of historical and cultural riches.  When I think of Edmonton, I envision nothing but shades of grey.  Lackluster.  I don't feel as though Edmonton has a distinct and lively culture of its own.

I admire aspects of the city, sure enough.  We have a breathtaking river valley, though more brilliant views can be had outside of the city in the Rocky Mountains - Once again, Edmonton seems to hold but a shade of beauty.  We boast the world-class Winspear Centre which often houses our Edmonton Symphony orchestra and it is always a wonderful treat to sit in the Winspear and listen to skilled musicians play.  But the Winspear is mere architecture, yet still, its impressive resounding acoustics are grossly under-appreciated.  Our new art gallery is spectacular, yet the art displayed within its skillfully skewed space transforms it not into a place that defines Edmonton as most of the displays do not boast local art - Perhaps a sign that we really don't have a unique culture to share?

I want more than anything to be proven wrong.  I want to feel and see and experience local beauty and culture.  I want to be proud to define myself as an Edmontonian.